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September 7 2010 3 07 /09 /September /2010 17:19

A guy donates blood 4 his dying girlfriend... After a couple of months they broke up... The guy tells the girl he wants his blood back! Haaa... The girl throws the pad on the guys face, and says: "ka di monthly instalments papa"!

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September 6 2010 2 06 /09 /September /2010 18:54

Kuthiwa the husband found out that wife was having an affair, and he

decided to get  a girlfriend You can imagine how exciting was the hubby to get revenge.

One day the girlfriend decided to invite the hubby(her boyfriend)

so that they spend the night together as they don't have time:

The boyfriend told the girlfriend that he will come on Friday because

the wife is going home, 

 

All the arrangements were made and confirmed and the girlfriend was very

happy to be spending the weekend with her man:

She received a call on Friday late and told her that the wife is not going anymore

but " I will come and see you before I go home "

Girlfriend didn't mind,  when he(boyfriend) arrive at her place

UHLAFUNE FOR IMIZUZU ELISHUMI WAGQIBA WASHIYA.

 

The following weekend the boyfriend was free because the wife was

at her mother's place, Umfo umkhulu call her girlfriend and bavumelana to spend weekend.

The man arrive and bayenzile into yabo after that the girlfriend(UmXhosa) said you can go now,

indoda yabuza why? Kaloku ixesha lakho yi 5 minutes so liphelile njengoko uqhelile, ndibonile uba ndifune

umntu ozokwazi ukuhlala nam ixesha, hayi wena mntu ufika ungene uchame ogqiba uphume,

ungene ekomini uhlambe unxibe uhambe.

 

So uyeza ngalomzuzu uzahlala iweekend yonke nam wena NXIBA. 

 

HAYI WETHU SUKUNDIQHELA KAKUBI MNA ANDINGUYE UNONTORONTYI WAKHO MNA

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July 28 2010 4 28 /07 /July /2010 10:07
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July 26 2010 2 26 /07 /July /2010 15:31
 Bush vs. Mandela


Mandela is enjoying a hearty breakfast - bacon, eggs, coffee,
croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. when Bush, chewing gum, sits next
to him and starts a conversation:

Bush: 'You South Africans eat the whole bread?'
Mandela: 'Of course.'

Bush (blowing bubble with his gum): 'We don't. In the States, we only
eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake
them into croissants and sell them to South Africa .'
Mandela: 'Oh Really?'

Bush: 'Do you eat jam with the bread?'
Mandela: 'Of course.'
Bush (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth): 'We don't. In
the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds
and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to
South Africa .'

Mandela: 'Do you have sex in America ?'
Bush: 'Of course we do.'
Mandela: 'And what do you do with the condoms?'
Bush: 'Throw them away of course.'

Mandela: 'We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt
them down into chewing gum and sell it to America


Hola Madiba bathe Tata...



PLEASE VISIT http://www.gcobani.co.cc/
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July 26 2010 2 26 /07 /July /2010 12:38
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June 14 2010 2 14 /06 /June /2010 19:42

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of the national road throught the Karoo when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye.... It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.... Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES Suddenly he begins to realise that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT His curiosity gets the best of him and he turns off. On the far side of the parking area is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks: "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the N1 and was interested in possibly doing business....." "Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door." He does so and another nun in a similar long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs: "Please place R200 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the passage." He puts R200 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall way and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking area facing another sign: GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

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April 1 2010 5 01 /04 /April /2010 16:31

Zuzeka was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurt; she had never had a
boyfriend. So she went to a psychic for help.
Honey! - said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this
life.But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will
fall at your feet.

Zuzeka left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she
thought: "the sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins" She decided
to jump off the bridge right away. But, incredibly Zuzeka didn't die!

She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas, she lost her senses and
fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to
see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started touching her
surroundings, feeling all the bananas she mumbled with a huge smile on
her face and said:

          "GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!, ONE AT A TIME!!!

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March 5 2010 6 05 /03 /March /2010 16:44
"What would I do without you."

"Just saying thank you will never repay your kindness."

"For all you do, for who you are, I will be forever grateful you are in my life."

Words cannot express my feelings, nor my thanks for all your help."

"Someday I will give back what you have given me. Thank You."

"Your thoughtfulness will always be rememebered."

"If the world had more people like you it would be a better place. 
You do make a difference."

"No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks."

"The applause of a single human being is of great consequence." 

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation." 
http://www.gcobani.co.cc/index_files/index.htm

http://cid-3829dfb53d16d25b.skydrive.live.com/play.aspx/me%20and%20friends?ref=1

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February 19 2010 6 19 /02 /February /2010 16:23
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November 12 2009 5 12 /11 /November /2009 18:48

Kulomzi kwakuthukwa gqitha. Umama walapha ade athi "ndiyakukuxelela into uyitye unyaka wonke"
Kwabona nje sebebizana ngeminqundu,omisunu ndibala ntonina......

Hayike umama waphaya wabona ukuba makhe yena ngoku asondele enkonzweni kuba noko ukufuphi ngaphambili.
Mini ithile kucace ukuba kufuneka uMfundisi azokuvelela izimvu zakhe.........
Phambi kokuba afike uMfundisi, nanko ke umama lo eyala abantwana ukuba zebangathuki ngoba uyeza
uMfundisi......kwavunyelwana ke ukuba ngcono bangaqali kwa incoko noMfundisi babulise nje.

Wafika kengoku uMfundisi.....

Umama: "heey, yenzan 'imphungo nina bantwana" .........nyhani ke, wayenza ke umntwana impungo.
Ubeke impungo kwi komityi zalapho ezihamba nesosala zazo, ezikhutshwa maxesha athile...... wayihambisa umntwana....
Nanko ebulela ke uMfundisi, ethatha impungo kodwa akayithatha ngesosala, wayithi qhiwu ngomqheba ikomityi.... 
Nanko ke umntwana: "kutheni ungayithathi ngesosala nje Mfundisi le tea, iqhuma inje?"

Umfundisi: "hay wena mntanam yiyeke ngoba ayo cup le..... yicofee mug, ilungile iqhuna injalo ...."

Umntwana: "Kulungile, kodwa ungatyholi umama phaya enkonzweni yakho, ngoba ndiyayazi mna phofu......
iyakukutshisa unye itea le Khehle, ulahle kude nalo mnqundu we coffee mug"

"yhoooo! wothuka unina wazama ukukhalima kwelihlazo:  "yewena msun'wakho, masende kayihlo
nditheni ngokuthuka mqundu? uyabona, uyakunya bonanje ukuba ndikhe ndasikwa yile kaka yaloMfundisi kula mnqundu wenkonzo..."

wamangaliseka uMfundisi! Nanko nayeephendula...... "hay, rha! kuse kunyeni kulo mzi mos"......www.gcobani.co.cc 

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