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February 29 2012 4 29 /02 /February /2012 08:04

Rules For Driving In South Africa

 

1. Never indicate - it gives away your next move. A real south African

driver never uses indicators.

 

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and

the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis and

a BMW, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

 

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of

getting hit.

 

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it

and it will only result in you being rear-ended.

 

5. Braking should be as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS

kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal

pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

 

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way

to check if the people entering the highway are awake.

 

7. Speed limits are arbitrary, given only as a guideline. They are

especially NOT applicable in South Africa during rush hour. That's why it's

called 'rush hour....'

 

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or

move over doesn't mean that the South African driver flashing his high

beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

 

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone

changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.

 

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of the high-speed

slalom driver thanks to the government, placing holes in key locations to

test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

 

11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant

the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests on top of

the traffic light and birds from making deposits on your car.

 

12. Remember that the goal of every South African driver is to get there

first, by whatever means necessary.

 

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection

after the light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic

principle that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.

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